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Why did I make this page?

On the evening of June 1, 2002, I got all dressed up in a t-shirt that proclaimed I was a freak and went out with my girlfriend to protest the Austin Gay Pride Parade, sponsored by the Austin Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce. We protested in response to remarks made in the Austin American-Stateman that Friday that we believed were divisive and dismissive of parts of the queer community. The parade organizer was quoted as saying, "When people think of gay parades they think of all the freaks and things you see in the media and on TV, but . . . we want to portray a positive image and represent this community as a whole." We were protesters in support of "freaks."

At the parade, we ran into other protesters who were attempting to actually get a spot in the parade as marchers. A parade volunteer told us that we could march in the parade for $50, which I provided, noting that I wanted to participate in the planning of next year's parade, and that my giving of the money was a symbol of that. I filled out a waiver calling us the "Austin Area Queer Freaks," and we marched -- although after the money was paid, we were told we were breaking the dress code and were harassed rather roughly by another parade volunteer. Marching was great, though -- the crowd was supportive and fun, and I knew we were making the impression that we wanted to make.

After the parade, I followed up with the parade organizer and the AGLCC about the issues that I and the other protesters had with the parade's leadership. In the beginning, I thought that the dialogue I was having was going to prove successful and I was optimistic. But, eventually, when I stayed solid in my position and made statements to the media, the correspondence became less and less friendly. Eventually, I was even billed for a $100 late fee for my parade group, even though no late fee had been mentioned before.

The reasonable dialogue I'd hoped for never materialized, and I've lost hope that my involvment in the parade planning would be effective. However, I made a pledge that I'd make sure my voice was heard; thus, I'm providing some resources and a copy of my correspondence with the parade organizer and AGLCC for any and all who want to go forward with working with the group to make the 2003 parade an inclusive and diverse success.

A forum for discussion:

I've set up a guestbook so that anyone can share their opinions on this subject here. To see this page or to make a comment, just click here.

Useful links:

· The Texas Triangle's first Austin Pride Parade Story.
· Gay Pride Parade Attracts Thousands. The Texas Triangle's Austin Pride Parade coverage.
· Gay Prude Parade, from the June 6 Austin Chronicle.
· My letter to the Triangle followed by a letter from parade volunteer Paul Parkinson.
· In case you think all the straight people get it and everything's okay, scroll down and read the letter to the Austin Chronicle called "How' Bout Heterosexual Pride?" in which a reader complains, " Like I said, I am more than happy for anyone who is in love, and I could care less who it is with, and they certainly don't have to feel compelled to 'explain it' to me. The whole idea seems really stupid to me actually. Who gives a shit? Just wondering." Spoken like a man who can have sex without worrying about being arrested.*
· The first letter to the Chronicle about the 2002 Pride Parade supporting the protest is on this page. Scroll down to "Homophobes Still the Rule."
· Two anti-protester letters to the Chronicle are here. You have to scroll down a bit, the title is "'Chron' Pride Coverage Myopic" in which the writer, Marc Leitman, says I have penis envy and refers to another female protester as a "girl"; he was a parade volunteer. Another one follows called "Self-Control and Maturity" by Eric Chiles.
· Scroll down to to read Kyre Osborn's response to the above two letters, called "Gay Prude."
· Eric Chiles responds to the Kyre Osborn's letter. Once again, you've got to scroll down a ways, this time to "One Goal, Different Methods." Mr. Chiles mentions in this one that he has "spent enough time in progressive countries to understand how gay people elsewhere achieved full equality by responsible behavior" and says that we need to make sacrifices. Hmmm. Do I need to earn by rights by behaving better? And in which countries have gay men and lesbians acheived "full equality?"
· Pride Parade Blues. The Texas Triangle prints a letter from me about why I have decided that I won't be participating in the 2003 Austin Pride Parade planning.

The original piece printed by the Austin American-Statesman is no longer available on the web, and I can't print this story wholesale without infringing on the copyright. I do, however, quote it directly in my letter that appeared in the Texas Triangle.

· The official website of Houston's pride parade. If you click the application you can get a copy of their rules.
· The international association of pride parade organizers.
· The Austin Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce site. For information or questions about next year's parade and how you can participate, you'll want to contact these people. The other Austin pride events are sponsored by the Lesbian and Gay Rights Lobby of Texas.

· The 2002 Austin Pride Parade Packet. I received this packet of information for parade participants in the mail from Chad Ballard on June 20.

* And click here if you think you're safe having gay sex in your own home. You aren't yet. Support Lambda Legal's fight against the Texas sodomy law.

The e-mail:

Following is the e-mail correspondence between Chad Ballard and I from June 3, 2002 through June 20, 2002. With the exception of a quick off-topic conversation about how I wasn't sure I had the name of his partner correct, this is the entire conversation.

E-mail addresses and phone numbers don't appear here; if you're interested in contacting anybody involved in the pride parade, there's contact information available in the resource links you'll find at the top of this page.

From: Ellen Hobbs
To: Chad Ballard ; Grant Hennig
Sent: Monday, June 03, 2002 10:19 AM
Subject: Pride Parade Paperwork ...

Hi, Chad --

I spoke with your partner Paul on Friday before the parade and I gave him some money to allow the "Austin Area Queer Freaks" to join in. Paul mentioned that paying to be in the parade would give us an avenue to have some influence in next year's parade, and I want to talk to you a bit more about that; I also need to get the appropriate paperwork from you reflecting that the money was received by AGLCC, as well as a copy of the rules or the contract that was shown to us briefly after we paid that I never got a chance to read.

I'm out of town on business right now until Thursday evening, but you can feel free to send this information to me electronically via this e-mail address (my home address) or my business e-mail, which is on the card I gave Paul along with the money, if you feel more comfortable doing that rather than sending it to an address you've never seen. My company's remote e-mail seems to be down right now, so I'm using this alternate address.

You can also snail mail it to:

Ellen Hobbs
XXXXXXXXXXXX

If you'd rather fax it, that's fine -- but I'd like to wait until I return to the office on Friday since faxes tend to disappear into an abyss of paper if you're not standing right there to grab them when they come off the machine. Just let me know how you'd like to deliver it.

It would be great if you and I could have a cup of coffee and discuss what happened; the philosophic differences, of course, but also a couple of incidents that could have gotten really out of hand really quickly; I'm actually surprised that it didn't, and I'm sure that's the sort of thing you're going to want to avoid in the future. Anyway, if you're free sometime next week that would be great. My work phone should be on my card; it's XXX-XXXX ext. XXX; and I'm also reachable by cell at XXX-XXXX.

Thanks,
Ellen Hobbs

From: Chad Ballard
To: Ellen Hobbs
CC: Grant Hennig
Subject: Re: Pride Parade Paperwork ...
Date: Tue, 04 Jun 2002 11:38:37 -0400

Hey Ellen,

Thank you for your entry in the Austin Pride Parade. Yes, Paul gave me your information and we will be meeting some time in July to start planning for next year's parade. I will keep you posted and continue to encourage everyone's involvement.

A receipt will be mailed out to you on Wednesday of this week. If you are interested, there is also an online application for membership into the Austin Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce at www.aglcc.org

I would love to meet with you to discuss what happened and to also give you a copy of the rules and regulations. I know that Paul apologized to your group on my behalf but I will not apologize for the Austin American Statesman. We all know how capable the media is in twisting and mis-quoting individuals. Their comment was taken out of context but no one bothered to check with me first.

I guess I am a little concerned, confused and disappointed in how Asher, a member of your group, represented herself and in the fact that she was on the Pride Parade Committee. She attended the first meeting where these rules and regulations were handed out, she sat there while I went over them item by item, we talked about the dress code and what was to be expected, I told everyone about the mandatory meeting that had to be attended by at least one member of each participating group, we discussed the parade entry deadline and she has received every email from day one concerning the parade, the rules, the mandatory meeting, expectations etc.

I am a big promoter of diversity. My opinion is that diversity is what makes the world go around, we are all different individuals and that is what makes us special. I have never labeled a group of individuals and never will. If they label themselves then that is their own right.

In my personal opinion, with all this being said, I do not think that Asher, (and other members of your group), represented themselves, you or your group in a professional manner and I think you can agree with that. Especially since Asher knew ALL the details from day one. Everyone was to represent themselves and their group in a professional manner and protray a positive image of our community to the public. In 34 years of my life I have never seen a woman walk around town, in public, where children are with her breast wrapped in plastic and wearing a strap on dildo....have you? Is this a common practice of how you represent your community in a postive manner? These are not philosophic differences but more so common sense differences in my opinion.

Let me know when you are back in town and we can visit these issues more. Again, thanks for your involvement.

W. Chad Ballard
Pride Parade Chair

From: Chad Ballard
To: Ellen Hobbs
Sent: Tuesday, June 04, 2002 4:25 PM
Subject: Re: Pride Parade Paperwork ...

...Please, do call me when you get back. I am serious about sitting down and talking with you. I think alot of things have been taken out of context. I am a very easy individual to get along with. And want to make next year's event even bigger and better for the GLBT community.

Thanks, Chad

From: Chad Ballard
To: Ellen Hobbs
Subject: Fwd: the like me please parade
Date: Tue, 04 Jun 2002 17:00:28 -0400

I am sure you have seen this but thought I would pass it along to you since Asher is apart of the group you represent. I can see she has issues and will continue to have them. Let me know when you are back in town....

Thanks,
Chad

From : asher mcshoe
To : Chad Ballard
Subject : the like me please parade
Date : Tue, 04 Jun 2002 19:46:23 +0000

if you think the parade was a unanimous success, you are wrong. the following email has been sent to queer and feminist listserves around austin:

i thought you all might like to know what went down at yesterday's "pride" parade. in response to fridays edition of the austin-american statesman, where pride parade rep chad ballard was quoted describing members of most gay parades as "freaks" and promised austin's to be "tasteful and clean" we formed a "freak" contingent to help, as was promised, "represent this community as a whole." a group of twenty or less of us paid the entrance fee, signed the waiver and were given the go ahead to join the parade festivities. we were waiting in the parking lot where the floats and marchers were assembled when i was pulled aside and told i had to change my outfit or leave the parade. what was "offensive", i was told, was the saran wrap tube top i was wearing. i pointed out to the parade rep that toplessness is legal in austin and he told me "thats true, but it violates our (the parade's) dress code." "dress code? at a pride parade??" he told me, and i QUOTE: "this parade is about normalcy, it is about assimilation." he continued by saying "you are here to look like your next door neighbor." i couldnt believe he was saying this to me at a pride parade. we are marching to show our pride in looking like the guy next door?? to show them how well we can assimilate? to prove how "normal" we are? in all the years ive seen the subtle invasion of homogeneity into the queer community, i never would have imagined words like these would come out of a gay man's mouth. not only is the dress code a shameful subservience to the very cultural systems that have oppressed queers for years, it was blatantly sexist and trans-exclusive. despite the legality of bare-chests for any gender in the city of austin, the parade's dress code strictly forbid ONLY women's breasts from being exposed. i demanded to know how my chest was more "offensive" than the multitude of topless male chests that were allowed in the parade and he responded: "there are real estate investor's here, there are car dealerships here... we are out here to show them that gays are just like everyone else." i understood this as an assumption that female breast's are inherently sexual/disrespectable and also as his rejection of sexuality from the homosexual community-- a contradiction in itself. at this point our argument had attracted a throng of outraged bystanders. people were throwing questions generally to the effect of "how can this be a pride parade when you are clearly ashamed of gay culture??" he relied (and im not making this stuff up!) "this is not the gay pride parade! this is the austin gay and lesbian chamber of commerce parade" and then he continued to assert the fact that investor's would be watching, judging, seeing if queers were worthy to buy their products. it was a farce and i could not believe what was being said to me. it was not until two journalists came to our defense that the man made his cowardly retreat and let me march without any more harassment. please spread the word about what type of queer the chamber of commerce represents, and the underhandedness of their "pride" festivities.
---asher

From: Ellen Hobbs
To: Chad Ballard
Sent: Wednesday, June 05, 2002
Subject: Re: Pride Parade Paperwork ...

I think of myself as pretty easy to get along with as well; however, I want you to know that I support Asher and all the other members of that group. The group was formed minutes before the parade, as you probably know, by different groups of protesters who came together on the spot. I just happened to be the one with the money in my pocket. I don't want to say that I represent anyone's opinion but my own, but I am including in this e-mail a letter I wrote to a discussion group about why I participated in the protest. I want to see if I can give you a bit of insight into the philosophic difference I believe exists here.

I also wanted to you to know that yesterday I spoke to a reporter from the Austin Chronicle for a brief that she was writing about the protest. I don't expect it to be a very long article, and I'm assuming she talked to you as well. From what I understand, this probably wouldn't have been reported in the Chron at all if the guy who had been involved in the worst part of the conflict with Asher had not called them up and asked them not to print anything about the protest. That's probably the sort of thing you wouldn't want to do in the future; there's nothing that makes journalists want to write about something more than being asked not to write about it.

That's it -- I look forward to our first meeting ...

-- Ellen

Click here to see the text of the letter I copied Chad on, which was eventually printed in the Texas Triangle.

From: Chad Ballard
To: Ellen Hobbs
Sent: Wednesday, June 05, 2002 9:41 PM
Subject: Re: Pride Parade Paperwork ...

Ellen, I would like for you to read the Houston Pride Parade rules and the San Antonio Pride Parade rules....both were used in preparing Austin's. Both were developed by members of the International Pride Conference. Houston is by far much more in depth and I am sure ours will be for next year's event. I guess what I do not understand was that if so many people had issues (according to you) then why were they never addressed to the committee when some individuals had every opportunity to do so and still choose NOT to?

In regard to your comment about: "I believe that the process that was used to solicit participants favored organizations and businesses that have a direct connection or are members of the AGLCC, and that the process for soliciting groups and business that were not part of this circle favored those prospective organizations or businesses that cater mainly to gay men." Just so that you know, out of the 42 entries in the parade there were only 15 entries that were paying members of the Austin Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce. The rest were entries from outside the Chamber and were from non profit and other organizations. Also, I would like to make you aware that out of 29 committee members only 7 were from the Chamber. The rest were community members at large that wanted to volunteer their time. In fact it was a representation from the straight, gay, lesbian, bi sexual and transgender communities.

Other than that, that is all I have to say. As I mentioned before I have never labeled anyone or any group and if anyone choose to do that then that is their own business and their own right. Everyone has issues but I guess some have more than others. I look forward to your participation in next years event.

Thanks,
W. Chad Ballard

The Austin Chronicle story appears June 5.

From: Ellen Hobbs
Sent: Tuesday, June 11, 2002 12:01 PM
To: Chad Ballard
Subject: Lunch or coffee ...

on Thursday or Friday, maybe? Or suggest a time ...

Ellen Hobbs

From: Chad Ballard
Sent: Tuesday, June 11, 2002 1:11 PM
To: Ellen Hobbs
Subject: Re: Lunch or coffee ...

Friday could work but let me go by my office this afternoon, check my calendar and see if they have scheduled me any appointments for Friday afternoon.....Thanks, Chad

... and so and so on. We discuss possible times like this for a few more e-mails. The letter I wrote appears in the Texas Triangle on June 14.

From: Chad Ballard
Sent: Monday, June 17, 2002 12:03 PM
To: Ellen Hobbs
Subject: Re: Lunch or coffee ...

Ellen, This week is pretty full and actually I don't have any further comments on the issues you have brought forth. The issues of your group have changed daily. Your beliefs are far from the truth but they are your beliefs and you are entitled to them. Why don't you volunteer for next years committee and you can even be in charge of the media if you would like. This will also give you all the inside, behind the sceen information so that you will not have to make assumptions. We both know what assuming does right?

You for one should know how the media is capable of taking things out of context and mis quoting individuals. But they never own up to it because it makes for a great story! As, I have always said..."as long as they are talking about you, you have nothing to worry about"! Right?

Have you read over Houston's Pride Parade Rules? I am just curious to know. My only concerns were the rules, regulations and conduct, which, by the way, were not as strict as Houston's. There will be some changes in regards to those this next year.

My first concern is how they were violated by your group after one of your members was there the night they were handed out and discussed (even though she says she never received them but everyone else there that night can say differently), she received every email from day one til the night of the parade (which I can produce to you or her or any of the other committee members can show you - paper trails don't lie), she knew what was to be expected and choose not to voice an opinion or conern until that night yet she had every opportunity to do so. She had my phone numbers, my email addresses etc.

My second concern is how your group acted the night of the event after you were allowed to enter and told where you would be in the parade. Then, as soon as the parade coordinator that evening turned their back your group went about their own way.

If there are other, more important issues that you would like to discuss please let me know or send me an email.

I look forward to seeing you at the first meeting. You will be receiving details shortly.....Again, thanks for your support and hope you will be involved next year.

Sincerely,
W. Chad Ballard

From: Ellen Hobbs
Sent: Monday, June 17, 2002 3:12 PM
To: Chad Ballard
Subject: RE: Lunch or coffee ...

I don't think that this really getting us anywhere, although I'm still willing to talk to you. I also wanted to make sure you understood that Asher was physically pulled out of the group into another area by a that guy named XXXX, and that if he had done it to me, I would have filed a complaint with the police. His behavior made it much more difficult and confusing out there, and really riled up the group of protesters who were waiting to be in the parade. No kidding, it was really inappropriate.

My understanding from our conversations with Marc was that they were putting us closer to the front, and it was impossible to find anybody to confirm that or not. We didn't know who was really in charge. I actually assumed that we were being pushed to the front because you didn't want all the other parade participants to see us as they passed by ...

My position on none of the issues we've discussed have changed. I have yet to receive a copy of the rules, or the receipt for the money I gave you. Perhaps we should talk again after I receive those.

From: Chad Ballard
Sent: Monday, June 17, 2002 4:21 PM
To: Ellen Hobbs
Subject: Re: Lunch or coffee ...

I told the treasurer to send you a receipt and thought that he had. I apologize if he did not. I will see him tomorrow morning and we will send one to you along with the rules as you requested.

All of the parade reps and volunteers for that night had on rainbow flower lei's. As each group checked in they were told this. XXXX was only a participant so I can not speak for him or what he did. This is the first I have heard of that issue. Again, something new every day.

Your assumption again is wrong. We were putting you at the back because the line up had already been completed on May 20th, which was the mandatory meeting and entry deadline which was also in the rules and regulations. Why? Because a book/script had already been prepared, (with a history, entry description, services provided by each organization/group and what they do for the community), for the announcer that was announcing from the patio at Club M&M. Putting your group any other place would have screwed up the announcer and threw things off since it was a very last minute entry.

Email me once you recive and review them and we will go from there.

Thanks, Chad

From: Chad Ballard
Sent: Monday, June 17, 2002 4:26 PM
To: Ellen Hobbs
Subject: Receipt

Hey Ellen, I just spoke to Robert in Jack's office and he forgot to send you the receipt. I just wanted to let you know that he is sending it out today or it may go out tomorrow. Sorry for the delay.

I will be sending you a copy of the rules and regulations so they will not be coming as one. Just wanted to let you know.

Chad

The next day, June 19, I finally got my parade packet, with the rules, and, in a separate envelope, this invoice:

From: Ellen Hobbs
Sent: Wednesday, June 19, 2002 1:03 PM
To: Chad Ballard
Subject: Receipt received ...

Looks like, in addition to the receipt, I got a bill for a $100 late fee. I assume this is a mistake, since in none of my conversations with Paul was a late fee mentioned and I got no paperwork or notice to that affect when I paid the $50 fee. The only paperwork I saw was a waiver that mentioned no additional fees, and that I signed.

I did finally get a copy of the rules today as well, and I'll be looking them over. Thanks.

Ellen Hobbs

From: Chad Ballard
Sent: Wednesday, June 19, 2002 2:23 PM
To: Ellen Hobbs
Subject: Re: Receipt received ...

Well, On April the 22nd the board decided, voted and approved that if anyone, group or organization wanted to be in the parade then they would have to pay a late fee.

This was due to an incident with {a local business}...(they missed the deadline)... we were told that if we did not let them in the parade ({name omitted}'s power trip in my opinion), then they would say that we kicked them out and would not let them participate etc.

Being that it was the first year and we wanted everyone as possible to participate and be involved, we (the board) decided rather than deal with that issue we would have a late fee (which actually was suggested by {name of business omitted}) and it would be applicable to all others as well (especially since I had been by there in person, along with other committee members, and they had seven opportunities over a two month period to get their paperwork in). We did not want to do for one and then not the rest. We wanted to be consistent in our decision.

Therefore, I had to call two other groups on the 23rd who had wanted a late entry and tell them what we decided. They said they would wait until next year and they understood our decision but did not have the funds to pay the late fee. Again, this next year the rules will be made VERY clear on ALL issues...deadlines, late fees, etc.

As you know it was a learning experience for all of us. The reason for the deadline and entry fees were due to the fact that we had a deadline to turn in the number of entries and participants to Austin Police Department. This is how they base the number of police officers needed for the event. So, as you can tell the more this changed the more everything changed. The police officers charge $100 per hour, per officer for a special event. Plus the insurance ($1,008.00) for the event and required by TxDOT which is based on participants spectators etc.

I assume Paul did not mention the late fee because he was serving in a volunteer capacity and he is not on the board so he was not aware of the issue that occured within the last week - all the meetings with the volunteers were already over at that point and everyone knew their job descriptions and responsibilities for that night.

The board talked yesterday (and if you are not aware we all have careers outside us volunteering with AGLCC - we ALL volunteer in the organzation there are no paid positions) and we felt that we had to stick with what we had decided long before the issue with you and your group so that is what we did. I told them not to expect your payment that I felt sure you would not pay it but again I am assuming. Therefore you do what you feel best. If you want proof of our decision then I can forward an email to you on the discussion and decision.

Sorry for being so long but there is so much involved that no one seems to think about or understand. Its not like you just decide to have an event (parade) and then you just do it. Oh and by the way, if you are wondering, I started this project in Feb. with a $0 budget and basically the parade (sponsorship and entry fees) paid for itself.

Thanks,
Chad

From: Chad Ballard
Sent: Wednesday, June 19, 2002 2:24 PM
To: Ellen Hobbs
Subject: Re: Receipt received ...

Sorry it was May 22nd not April 22nd.

From: Ellen Hobbs
Sent: Wednesday, June 19, 2002 5:42 PM
To: Chad Ballard; Also, this was CC:ed to all members of the AGLCC board.
Subject: RE: Receipt received ...

Well, Paul seemed to be in a position to tell us he would take our money, and then he had me sign a waiver and told us we were in the parade. That's why I was surprised that after we had paid we were told about rules we weren't following; I would have thought if we didn't meet the qualifications for a legitimate group we wouldn't have been told we could join in. There was no way I could tell that Paul was not a legitimate person with whom to enter into a contract for that event; if I had known, I certainly would have tried to handle it some other way. He represented himself as though he was making a perfectly legit deal.

Not only that, if I had known about the rules or the late fee when we were negotiating with Paul, I would have opted for the original protest my girlfriend and I had planned on our own -- moving through the crowd as individuals in our freak t-shirts, talking to people and making our voices heard. I was already having second thoughts about having paid the money to the AGLCC when we were pulled off to the side by the irate parade rep who talked with (and was rough with) Asher, and when we got conflicting and confusing information about where we were supposed to be in the parade.

I also want to clarify that while I marched with a group of people, no organized group of protesters existed before or after the parade; I've made it clear that I personally want to participate in planning, and that I personally have wanted to talk to you. I gave the $50 to indicate that I was serious about putting my voice and my time into this parade in the future, and I told this to Paul and the rest of protesters. I, as an individual, have put myself on the line by speaking out publicly. Like you and those at the AGLCC, I'm also taking time out of my daily life to talk to you and to other people who care about Gay Pride, the parade and what it could mean to the Austin lesbian and gay community. There are issues that I wanted to talk to you about in person because I don't think e-mail is always the most constructive communication tool, even though I, too, would need to make time in my busy schedule to do it. I want you to realize that by billing me you *aren't* billing a group of people, as I've said over and over, you're billing me, an individual.

To me, this feels like I personally am being punished for criticizing this parade. It's true that I'm critical, and that I'm publicly critical, because I feel strongly about making sure that if Austin has a Gay Pride Parade, it's as inclusive it can be, it doesn't make anybody in our community feel like an outsider, and it makes a political statement to our city, our state and our country. And to make sure that happens, I need to move people to awareness and action by stating publicly what I believe. When I've spoken publicly, I've done my best not to surprise you; I sent you the piece that was printed in the Triangle in advance, and I let you know when I was contacted by the Austin Chronicle.

By billing me, you're putting me in a no-win situation. Obviously, I don’t think this is a valid billing because I wasn't told about it at the time I was making the contract. Making the payment would not only mean agreeing that I owed the money, it would mean giving even more money to an organization that I am not convinced is representing me to the public in a way with which feel comfortable, and that am I not sure is willing to consider I'm saying thoughtfully. Not making the payment means that my voice will be less "valid" to the organization that I would be trying to work with on next year's parade, because I'm a slacker that doesn't pay their bills. I honestly feel like I could bring some healthy and useful input to this parade, but this action the AGLCC has taken undermines me.

I'm pretty sure I don't hold the same view that the AGLCC does about what the parade should be. I read in the paper about how the parade was supposed to be just for fun, and a good time for us all to just see each other out. I was told by parade reps that evening that we were supposed to look like "the people next door" and that the point of the parade was to "look normal" (sorry, somebody really did say that to me, even though there were drag queens within spitting distance) and not offend anyone. But I believe Gay Pride means being political, being sexual and making people uncomfortable.

Pride events are political events, no matter how much fun we have, because we're coming out and showing that we break laws to be who we are, and that we have the strength and numbers to fight against the continued discrimination we face. Pride events are sexual events because we are sexual outlaws, no matter what we're wearing, because lesbian and gay sex is illegal in Texas; just ask the guys in Houston who ended up paying fines last year for having consensual sex in the privacy of their own home.

Best of all, Pride events make people uncomfortable. There are people see the parades who support the laws that make us outlaws, that keep up from getting married or adopting children or insuring our partners, and I want those people to be downright uncomfortable. I want them to see that we're not afraid to keep making them uncomfortable, and that we're not okay with the status quo. I want them to see that there are a lot of us, and that we're going to continue to demand that our rights be recognized. And I want to inspire every queer who sees it to fight anytime they can until the discrimination is over.

I think that this year's parade was political, it was sexual, and it made people uncomfortable; a pretty good showing, all in all. It would be hard for any organization, no matter how serious its intent, to strip a Gay Pride Parade down to a merely fun event; and I don't think the AGLCC was really trying terribly hard to do that. I also appreciate the fact that a parade takes time and money to produce, and the members of the AGLCC did make sacrifices and put themselves on the line to make it happen. However, the AGLCC also took on a responsibility, and that was to represent the Austin queer community to the public at large in a way that was favorable during a highly visible event. I don’t believe what I saw in the papers or what I heard while talking to parade organizers represented me in way that was appropriate, and so I took action. I will continue to do so.

If the AGLCC thinks that the appropriate thing to do in this case is to punish me, then by all means, bill me. Perhaps we will talk at the July 16th meeting, but I think it's time for our e-mail correspondence to come to a close.

From: Chad Ballard
Sent: Thursday, June 20, 2002 9:57 AM
To: Ellen Hobbs
Subject: Re: Receipt received ...

Ellen...

Paul was a legit person just as everyone was - you included. He was serving in a volunteer capacity and the volunteers once again were not made aware of all the recent changes. None of us knew what to expect that night or what to anticipate.

Nothing is meant to punish you etc. That is your personal feeling/belief. We are just being fair and honest just as we did with all other groups and you should be able to respect that. You choose to be a part of that group and to label yourself. Should we treat you or your group any different? In my opinion, NO. Like I said, you do what you want. It is not going to matter to me and I am sure not going to loose any sleep over it. I think we all need to move forward for next year.

I would still like you involved and I have said that all along. I agree with your issue on our email conversations. I have spent way too much time dealing with your issues that seem to change daily. Plus you seem to contradict yourself several times in the most recent email. But that is just my opinion.

I know what it is to be discriminated against we all do. That is why I have always done nothing but my best to try and make it a better community for all of us and always give back and do my part. Those that know me well can tell you that nothing was ever intended to be perceived in a negative manner. I would give the shirt off my back to anyone. I too have had several opinions/beliefs in the past on different issues but I always try to find the good in things rather than the bad. If you look hard enough you can always find the good but in my opinion it is those that do nothing but search for the bad and focus on those issues that keep dividing our community. I am a firm believer that actions speak louder than words. I thought the parade did just that. We both know that we cannot always make everyone happy and please every group...all we can do is just try. A perfect world does not exist and it never will.

Again, since I have been invited to attend the International Conference for Pride Events, I know that there will be some things that we can improve on for next year and I am very excited about that and looking forward to that. I think it will be a great learning experience.

Thanks,
Chad

From: Ellen Hobbs
Sent: Tuesday, July 16, 2002 11:19 AM
To: Chad Ballard
Cc: AGLCC president
Subject: Meeting tonight

Hi, Chad:

I'm just writing to let you know that, although I received the AGLCC newsletter yesterday with the meeting time for the parade wrap-up and planning meeting, I have decided not to attend. Of course, whenever it is possible, I will continue to support groups that are working with the AGLCC to keep Austin's Pride Parade from becoming de-politicized, de-sexualized, sanitized and normalized.

However, after letting everyone on the AGLCC board know how I feel about being billed for money I do not owe and getting absolutely no response, I feel that working to make my voice be an effective one within your organization would be a futile effort. I'm certain I can be a much more effective member of the community if I work with organizations that treat me with more respect than I have been given by the Chamber of Commerce, and I will be channeling the time I had planned to put toward this project into other political and community activism.

I have turned the information and correspondence I have collected over to colleagues who may take up the effort for me; I will continue to watch their efforts and those of the AGLCC with interest.

Amusingly enough, during the last month I discovered that you and I went to A&M at the same time, both Class of '91. We have at least one mutual acquaintance from the Ol' Army days -- my pal XXXXXXX says to tell you hello.

Good luck with creating a great and diverse parade next year.

Ellen Hobbs

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